In paper 2 I did a lot of self reflection and revision from the first draft to the second draft. Looking back, a lot of the self review I did was complex and simplistic. I think I would change a few things.
For starters in my introduction I think I had a very simplistic approach. My peer reviews encouraged me to state my claim clearer. I was more stating the known evidence and making that the main point, and less stating my own ideas. In my final draft I did try to make my claim clearer and stand out more, but I’m not fully convinced that I did that to the best of my ability.
Next in my evidence and explanations I think that is the strong point to my evidence. This essay contained a strong claim and I needed very sufficient evidence. After in class reviewing what a quotation sandwich is, I used this process a lot. I stated my evidence clearly with a claim to back it up. What I think I’m missing is a strong claim to start my paragraph. I more stated what the paragraph was gonna say. Think if I revised this paper again, I would make the introductions to each paper be very bold and stand out.
Reorganization was something I touched on briefly in this paper. My first draft was pretty strong, with a central theme. I think what I did a lot reorganization wise was making the paper flow stronger. Making each paragraph be important, but still tie back to a central theme and idea.
In this paper I did introduce a brand new paragraph in the final paper that wasn’t in the first draft. I added from the first draft, a new major point of adding politics into the paper. This resulted in me adding a new evidence paragraph that showed how politics are so important in the scientific discourse. Also I did add was a new closing paragraph. As a writer I never have been strong at summarizing papers into a closer. I did after global revision of my paper, completely redo my closing paragraph that made more sense to my claim.
Most of my papers need a lot of local changes. In this paper, I learned from peer review the correct way to cite sources in evidence paragraphs. This was something that was needed to be fixed and was the biggest local change I had.
